


Sometimes, I Dream

by bonusparts



Category: DCU (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types, Titans (Comics)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Internal Monologue, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:55:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29135169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonusparts/pseuds/bonusparts
Summary: Ch'al Andar - the once Charley Parker - and dreams of what could have been.
Relationships: Bette Kane & Charley Parker, Bette Kane/Charley Parker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Sometimes, I Dream

Sometimes, I dream of clouds. Great ghosts of vapor drifting across the sky, sometimes above and sometimes below, their billowing fingers tickling my skin as I carve them with my wings.

Other times, I dream of water. Giant tunnels of rolling sapphire silencing everything else as I cut my way through them, my fingers tracing breaks that turn to foam. Waves crashing over and around me, the bitter sting of salt rushing up my nose when my balance fails. And laughter, free and only gently mocking when I come up for air, spitting out the sea through a grin. Or sometimes coughing it up through a gasp.

I dream of my father. Sometimes, he’s as full of life as he is of hatred, fuming and mighty and desperate for a vengeance that I came to want, too. More often, though, he’s dead, a spirit of light and compassion begging me to be better, a protector and a hero for his people. My people, though at times I forget that, in favor of another.

I dream of the grand star Sol shining high in the sky, beating me bronze with its heat. I dream of Sol’s blue sister Luna, her slow dance among the stars cooling and calming. I dream of a golden-haired Earth girl as vibrant as that sun and as luminous as that moon, with a giggle as lilting as wind chimes in a breeze and whose kiss is as sizzling and dangerous as a licking flame. And how much I would give to find her, hold her, have her hold me again. But there’s stars between us, and a war, and so many mistakes and years and regret.

I dream of the hole in my heart and the eye I paid for it. I dream of the shame I brought to my name, and to the armor and wings of which I was once so proud. I dream of all the chances I let slip by because I was too stupid and too spoiled to realize that happiness has more to do with simplicity than with power.

I dream of pain and cruelty…and of honor and forgiveness. Of battle and slavery and sex and freedom. Of camaraderie and redemption.

I dream of black space and bright stars. And of white, puffy clouds and massive blue oceans.

And sometimes – rarely, but enough to make me hope – I dream of that dazzling, daring Earth girl who’s a woman, now. She wipes the tears that spill from my one good eye and hushes me when I try to explain and excuse. Then she smiles, and takes me in her arms, and lets me come home. And I don’t have to just dream anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I always thought that Bette Kane and Charley Parker - back when they were both innocent teens in Titans West, especially - had a little something-something going on between them. Of course, comics continuity has a way of disrupting personal fantasies. I was heartbroken after the Wildebeest event, and I was downright angry at what Gray and Palmiotti did to Golden Eagle in their run on Hawkman! But what is fanfiction for, if not for figuring out how even those characters with tumultuous stories can find the happiness we've always wanted for them? 
> 
> Partly inspired by some of the charming Bette Kane-centric stories written by others on this site. I hope folks enjoy.


End file.
